Grief

February in Indiana

February 15, 2015

Guys, life just really stinks sometimes.  I ask myself all the time when did I get old enough to experience adult problems?  Oh man, if I could just tell my 20 year old self how easy I had it.  Sure I cried over boyfriends and the “she said what about me?” drama, but if only I knew how silly that all was then.  Being grown up is full of REAL life problems, REAL life heartache, and REAL life decisions.

Currently, I want to shake the hand of someone who is experiencing a relative calm in their life.  It’d be great to ask them what it’s like and how great it is to make it through the day without your heart breaking over something in your life or in someone you love’s.  If it’s you, just take a hot minute and give thanks for your moment of peaceful life.

Throughout the past three years of blogging, I’ve definitely written about peaks and valleys.  After all, isn’t that what life is?  A series of super-great highs and series of super-tough lows?  I’m a long way (fortunately) from the deepest of my lows, but I still dip from time to time.  What’s great about coming out of a low (besides that you’re coming out of a low!), is that you’re blessed with a period of reflection.  You don’t gain perspective by everything being awesome all the time.  Valleys strip away every superficial thing we use in our life to cover the ugly and show our true character, who we are at our core, what truly matters to us.  They humble us.  They laugh at the control we think we hold in our lives.  They often bring us to our knees.

Listen, I’m not saying that I’m thankful for having to experience that valley.  I’m definitely not saying I want to experience it again.  But, I am thankful for it renewing my relationship with God.  I am thankful for the strength that I gained.  I am thankful for the deepening of my relationship with Chad.  I am thankful for the new compassion I have for others who have to walk through deep valleys.  And I’m thankful for how it changed me.  When you’re in one, it can be pretty bleak, pretty dark.  But, there is always hope.  Hope for when you get through it.  Hope for what happens after.  Hope for what the grander plan may be. Remember my little ant/tapestry analogy?  That always helps me visualize hope when I need it.

I will say, though, I’m ready for a peak.  Or heck, I’m ready for a plateau even!  I’m ready to be reminded of the good and happy in the world.  I’m anxious to shed the heartache I’ve been carrying.  I guess there’s just not much to be joyful about in February in Indiana!  Except for maybe these guys…..

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This is Elena. Our Light. You can see all the goodness and joy that shines from those deep blue eyes. She loves sneezes, yawns, industrial toilet flushes, automatic paper towel dispensers and The Star Spangled Banner. Music is her everything, specifically Moana, Frozen (really all Disney), Queen & Taylor Swift. Nothing makes her squeal quite like swimming, fast boat rides and her two brothers in trouble. In addition to her megawatt smile, Elena reminds us to cherish the smallest of victories, to live in the present, and to daily dwell in a posture of gratitude for every breath and every blessing.  

More About Our Story

I’m Emmalee, an ordinary gal born and raised in the Heartland. Wife to Chad, and Mom to Elena, Calvin & Turner, I spend most my days ridin’ dirty (literally so much trash) in my minivan carting kids to and fro. When I’m not being a Momager, I excel at self-care, cooking gourmet meals my kids won’t eat and deep-diving all the feelings. Most days, my attitude is gratitude, just taking life one step at a time.

Emmalee & Elena

Meet The Gals